JERKCITY HI-FI

HAVE A FULL MEAL OF
NOISE DIARRHEA (AUDIO PRODUCTIONS OF JERKCITY WEBCOMIC STRIPS) EVERY TUESDAY AND THURSDAY
APPETIZERS / COCKTAILS / MAIN COURSE / DESSERTS
QUESTIONS FOR THE WAITER (FAQ)


AGAPE APPETIZERS

THIS OBNOXIOUS NOISE GENERATOR IS NOW INTEGRATED WITH JERKCITY.COM PROPER.

IF WE MADE AN AUDIO PRODUCTION, IT'LL SHOW UP IN A BOX UNDER THE STRIP.

THE BOOKMARKLET/CHROME EXTENSION/USERSCRIPT NOW JUST "ENHANCES" THE EXPERIENCE:

USE THIS GARBAGE IF YOU WANT:


COCKTAILS AND OTHER THROAT MOISTENERS

EXTRA GARBAGE YOU DON'T NEED BUT IS SUPER FUN.

WE HAVE A PHONELINE YOU CAN CALL IF YOU'RE A MANIC DEPRESSIVE

SOCIAL WEB 3.0 BULL SHIT

AND SO ON


MAIN COURSE FOR BIG GAGGERS

OPEN WIDE IT'S TIME TO SHOVE IT ALL IN.

AVAILABLE EPISODES (137)

137 
2015-08-27 02:00

EXPLICIT
ghosts in the maschine
136 
2015-08-25 02:00

↳ drill a hole in there and the freaks won't stop coming
135 
2015-08-20 00:00

EXPLICIT
roger nichols level work here
134 
2015-08-18 00:00

EXPLICIT
i thought we were friends but we're really friends with forced benefits
133 
2015-08-13 00:00

↳ golden age of radio
132 
2015-08-11 00:00

EXPLICIT
you're never safe.
131 
2015-08-06 00:00

↳ we';; never figure this out
130 
2015-08-04 00:00

↳ title: begins now: do not paste this paste the actual thing after these quotations: please [s]get better soon[/s] stop eating the trash pizza @grilldos
129 
2015-07-30 00:00

↳ fatherhood, explored. not every episode can be about the dark terrors that haunt broken men
128 
2015-07-28 00:00
~"cat urday", @grilldos

↳ cat urday, in the dark / i stink it up: the jorts of july
127 
2015-07-23 00:00

EXPLICIT
we found another really thought-provoking radio program
126 
2015-07-21 00:00

↳ some cultured references and inside jokes for all my truest friends.
125 
2015-07-16 00:00

↳ congrats, nerds
124 
2015-07-14 00:00
~children @dickmissiles stole, @grilldos

↳ i have a really good dirty pun for this but there are children present.
123 
2015-07-09 00:00

EXPLICIT
submit your own audio to jerkcity hifi today! PLEASE
122 
2015-07-07 00:00

EXPLICIT
no animals were harmed in the making of this episode
121 
2015-07-02 00:00

EXPLICIT
sequel to 1186, you see.
120 
2015-06-30 00:00

EXPLICIT
out where creams cum goo
119 
2015-06-26 22:45

↳ suddenly!
118 
2015-06-25 00:00

↳ go fuck yourself
117 
2015-06-23 00:00

↳ can you dig it
116 
2015-06-18 00:00

EXPLICIT
check it out @buzzfeed
115 
2015-06-16 00:00

EXPLICIT
roaming charges apply
114 
2015-06-11 00:00

EXPLICIT
9/11 is in 3 months
113 
2015-06-09 00:00

EXPLICIT
now sponsored
112 
2015-06-04 00:00

↳ wish u were queer
111 
2015-06-02 00:00

↳ sound the alarm, this is not a test
110 
2015-05-28 00:00
~"cat urday", @grilldos

↳ unsolicited filfth
109 
2015-05-26 00:00

EXPLICIT
i remember when there was the nothingness and there was no pain and no joy
108 
2015-05-21 00:00

EXPLICIT
smooth buddy week 2015: the jerkcity players present, part 2
107 
2015-05-19 00:00

EXPLICIT
smooth buddy week 2015: the jerkcity players present, part 1
106 
2015-05-14 00:00

EXPLICIT
it's been a year of this terrible bullshit
105 
2015-05-12 00:00

↳ it goes from spigot to pants to deuce, that's the chart
104 
2015-05-07 00:00

EXPLICIT
fucking logitech stick mics i swear to christ
103 
2015-05-05 00:00
~some guy from crystal river, @hipstersandwich, some guy from santa fe, @grilldos

EXPLICIT
story time
102 
2015-04-30 00:00

↳ in transit
101 
2015-04-28 00:00

↳ and today from the BBC Turd Service
100 
2015-04-23 00:00
~some guy from london (canada), @hardclumping, @hebrewmagic (asshole), some guy from santa barbara, some guy from sante fe, some chick from charlottesville, @hipstersandwich, @sexpleasant, some guy from sunnyvale, @grilldos

EXPLICIT
here's to the next 100, brought to you by demented sociopaths everywhere. submit your contribution to jerkcity hi-fi today!
99 
2015-04-21 00:00
~some guy from escondido who messed up a line but i'm giggling so much i don't care, @grilldos

↳ one breath
98 
2015-04-16 00:00

EXPLICIT
being bedridden doesn't give my wife a break
97 
2015-04-14 00:00

↳ pizza is life / pizza is lord
96 
2015-04-09 00:00

↳ far out, man. i haven't seen a bong in years.
95 
2015-04-07 00:00
~@grilldos, some dude from sunnyvale

↳ my benefits elections are due today
94 
2015-04-02 00:00

↳ trigger warning: reality
93 
2015-03-31 00:00

EXPLICIT
motherfucker can't keep it together for one god damn minute
92 
2015-03-27 00:00

EXPLICIT
a rehearsal director's cut
91 
2015-03-26 00:00

↳ more rehearsals, my god
90 
2015-03-24 00:00

EXPLICIT
rehearsal, what a concept
89 
2015-03-19 00:00

↳ we are radiogag, now an itunes approved podcast
88 
2015-03-17 00:00

↳ authentic sounds from around the world
87 
2015-03-12 00:00

EXPLICIT
tonight at 9, after a very special blossom
86 
2015-03-10 00:00

EXPLICIT
another encounter
85 
2015-03-05 00:00

EXPLICIT
found in the minutes
84 
2015-03-03 00:00

EXPLICIT
with thanks to datafile 1
83 
2015-02-26 00:00

EXPLICIT
20,000 agents. over 20 years of experience.
82 
2015-02-24 00:00

EXPLICIT
ready and willing
81 
2015-02-19 00:00

↳ she's pregnant
80 
2015-02-17 00:00

↳ he laughed at the strip so i told him to make this
79 
2015-02-12 00:00

EXPLICIT
one from a bathroom
78 
2015-02-10 00:00

↳ is this where i report bugs, i don't even know https://home.mrtheplague.net/ is any of this even worth fixing
77 
2015-02-05 00:00

↳ you learn something new every day, kids
76 
2015-02-03 00:00

EXPLICIT
i'm going to bed, with my ghost van
75 
2015-01-29 00:00

EXPLICIT
the battles we fight in love and war
74 
2015-01-27 00:00

↳ establishing continuity with an accidental episode creation
73 
2015-01-22 00:00

↳ here are these two idiots again
72 
2015-01-20 00:00

EXPLICIT
it's ghost and clump week on jchf
71 
2015-01-15 00:00
~@grilldos, @ghostofeazye, DJ RAPEKIT on tunes

↳ a friendship tested
70 
2015-01-13 00:00

EXPLICIT
□□□□□□□□□□
69 
2015-01-08 00:00

↳ gotta make the talk circuit
68 
2015-01-06 00:00

EXPLICIT
a: always, b: beat, c: cocks
67 
2015-01-01 00:00

EXPLICIT
my wife yelled at me when i made this. it's our anniversary.
66 
2014-12-30 00:00

EXPLICIT
a long boy dreams of flight
65 
2014-12-25 00:00

EXPLICIT
a christmas trope
64 
2014-12-23 00:00
~@dickmissiles, @grilldos, some guy named keith law on music

EXPLICIT
a ted talk christmas
63 
2014-12-18 00:00

EXPLICIT
hellbound and gagged
62 
2014-12-16 00:00

EXPLICIT
ye olde jerkcity shoppe
61 
2014-12-11 00:00

EXPLICIT
thanks for coming
60 
2014-12-09 00:00

↳ weeknights at 10 after judge jerkalot
59 
2014-12-04 00:00

EXPLICIT
are you looking for me
58 
2014-12-02 00:00

↳ good morning
57 
2014-11-27 00:00

EXPLICIT
happy thanksgiving, from your pals who yell into metal dicks at jerkcity hi-fi
56 
2014-11-25 00:00

EXPLICIT
if, when, why what / are you a butt slut
55 
2014-11-20 00:00

EXPLICIT
everyone needs help once in a while
54 
2014-11-18 00:00

EXPLICIT
there's only one way to close it
53 
2014-11-13 00:00

EXPLICIT
our only choice
52 
2014-11-11 00:00

↳ my daughter loves this show
51 
2014-11-06 00:00

↳ it's not unisex
50 
2014-11-04 00:00

EXPLICIT
real friends listen
49 
2014-10-30 00:00

EXPLICIT
matt threw, let's go
48 
2014-10-28 00:00

↳ ride the green line
47 
2014-10-23 00:00

EXPLICIT
despite the meat it'll be alright and gay
46 
2014-10-21 00:00

EXPLICIT
the golden age
45 
2014-10-16 00:00

EXPLICIT
public service announcement and glory hole inspection notice
44 
2014-10-14 07:42

EXPLICIT
take the shitty joke and the voicemail and let me go back to bed for more fever dreams about the glory hole riddled with love -- also i was sick and couldn't find any audio of dick van dyke saying something racist or terrible so if you send that to me i'll add it. thanks and don't forget to tip your waiter over and puncture
43 
2014-10-09 00:00

↳ dedicated to my daughter and unborn sibling. may you know the true nature of your father and yet remain unbroken. take pity.
42 
2014-10-07 00:00

EXPLICIT
he just squirted this out. on command.
41 
2014-10-02 00:00

EXPLICIT
it's real, ask letterman
40 
2014-09-30 00:00

↳ one of the wright brothers is a post-op transexual but it's not the one you'd think
39 
2014-09-25 00:00

EXPLICIT
never expiring
38 
2014-09-23 00:00

EXPLICIT
king kock
37 
2014-09-18 00:00

EXPLICIT
i can't think of anything funny to say, my ibs has drained me of one fluid and my well documented addiction drained another.
36 
2014-09-16 00:00

EXPLICIT
the work of one who consorts with beasts steer clear
35 
2014-09-11 00:00

↳ pulled from syndication
34 
2014-09-09 00:00

EXPLICIT
actually it ended up being an .ogg but who gives a wet shit if soundcloud is just going to phase out their app's recording function anyway
33 
2014-09-04 00:00

↳ is the darknet the part of my computer that's shadowed by my low hanging balls
32 
2014-09-02 00:00

EXPLICIT
death is certain
31 
2014-08-28 00:00

EXPLICIT
the shadow knows all the undocumented truck stop glory hole visits left off your expense report in Q4 2013
30 
2014-08-26 00:00

EXPLICIT
damn son where'd you find this
29 
2014-08-21 00:00

EXPLICIT
official grammar school curriculum. NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND ON UNCLE TED'S FULL THROTTLE VACATION
28 
2014-08-19 00:00

↳ he could not
27 
2014-08-14 00:00

EXPLICIT
I dumps AM thighs SORRY baby
26 
2014-08-12 00:00

↳ the end is a clue ssssh
25 
2014-08-07 00:00

↳ two five eight six / referencing a thing you may have missed
24 
2014-08-05 00:00

EXPLICIT
just two bros chillin on a wednesday afternoon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgyWsL7-B9c
23 
2014-07-31 00:00

EXPLICIT
i will have to explain these to my children some day
22 
2014-07-29 00:00

EXPLICIT
hitler is alive and well in my heart
21 
2014-07-24 00:00

EXPLICIT
my dick erupts and after a time i am burdened with crying meat
20 
2014-07-22 00:00

EXPLICIT
this man paid for an education ha ha a certified fool
19 
2014-07-17 00:00

↳ this piece failed for four straight years in uil dramatic duo interp
18 
2014-07-15 00:00

↳ while (you == "liberal arts degree waste of a egg") { print "yes"; }
17 
2014-07-10 00:00

EXPLICIT
weird al did a version of this joke on the uhf commentary track
16 
2014-07-08 00:00

↳ i lost the e-mail for this but then i found it again what a close one
15 
2014-07-03 00:00

EXPLICIT
no casting call for birds this time
14 
2014-07-01 00:00

EXPLICIT
the first time i heard this i was shitfaced at midnight and it was a perfect start to father's day
13 
2014-06-26 00:00

EXPLICIT
apollo 13 archival audio
12 
2014-06-24 00:00

EXPLICIT
actually sober
11 
2014-06-19 06:30

EXPLICIT
#yesallwomen
10 
2014-06-17 10:00

EXPLICIT
the noise at the end is the sound of my impending death
2014-06-12 10:00

EXPLICIT
does json count
2014-06-10 10:00

↳ The CALM Act directs the Commission to establish rules that require TV stations, cable operators, satellite TV providers or other multichannel video program distributors (MVPDs) to apply the Advanced Television Systems Committee's (ATSC) A/85 Recommended Practice ("ATSC A/85 RP") to commercial advertisements they transmit to viewers.
2014-06-05 10:00

↳ check you're local listings
2014-06-03 10:00

EXPLICIT
nothing isn't real
2014-05-29 10:00

EXPLICIT
you have to enunciate the t's
2014-05-27 10:00

EXPLICIT
the bird is not a union actor but he did sign my release
2014-05-22 10:00

↳ screamed at hippies across a poorly maintained field
2014-05-21 10:00

EXPLICIT
in my mind they do have to be yes
2014-05-13 10:00

EXPLICIT
whet the palette, wet the gullet

DESSERTS AND SUNDRIES

BONUS AUDIO

GOOD ASS TWEETS


QUESTIONS FOR THE WAITER (FAQ)

FAQ: "CAN I SUBMIT SOMETHING???"

AS LONG AS YOU DON'T SHIT THE BED (NO DRY CLEANER IN A FIFTEEN MILE RADIUS WILL TAKE OUR BUSINESS ANYMORE).

SUBMIT PARTIAL OR FULLY PRODUCED AUDIO AT YOUR LEISURE. WE MIGHT PUT MAKE-UP ON IT, LAYER IT, CHOP IT UP, ETC. HOPE THAT'S COOL BABY.

SEND YOUR NOISES TO jerkcityhifi@gmail.com OR LEAVE A VOICEMAIL: +1 URRJGHRKRK (TOLL-FREE/SMS 877-544-7575) / +1 HOW'S-SPIGOT (SMS/MMS 469-777-4468)


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SEND US CRAP LIKE:

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*"wistfully" (adjective): "with excessive, homoerotic bleeding and urination"